Waiting to Trip Alone by Benjamin Fowler

Oh woman you are warm and have curves and I need you,

Oh man protect me from the silent serpent and the worms growing in my intestines,

Oh doctor cure my ferocious and desperate desire to be a part of something greater and to love me a humble being of the earth,

I disappear on my quest into the great unknown

Not knowing who comes before or after me,

Not caring for tomorrow,

Only for today,

And the cold river or trickle between a Galician wall and an old building

An 800 year old church, that the birds can’t crash

I prefer my river and my darkness

I prefer to walk my journey than to divine what lurks in the hearts and minds of others,

Something stirs underground a mole or a rat

Pay attention, listen to nature speak,

Killing and death cause hatred

Innocence is beautiful and painful,

I choose

It is my deck of cards,

I hold the key to my future,

Consumed by death and insects,

Put me back together G_d,

I’m missing my limbs,

My mind and my heart have eclipsed and cannot coexist,

Where are you rat?

Come and bite me

Let me breathe your disease before the serpent takes me down

Let me waste my life in your warmth and your unpleasant company

At least I’ll have a friend not so different from me

late June 2011

El cabo de la muerte Finisterre (and Santiago de Compostela), Galicia, Espana
  

Benjamin has a mood and thought disorder, but has been doing well on medication for over ten years. He recently completed a BA in English Studies at the University of New Mexico. He enjoys all forms of creativity and writing. His prose poem on the disappearance of written language appeared in Whimsical Poet: A Journal of Contemporary Poetry, Fall 2021, Issue 3. He enjoys physical activity and playing sports. He is proud of his Jewish heritage. He can be reached at tortuganinjamorada@gmail.com

Image by Christopher “Selomon” Closson from Pixabay