Poetry

Friends

Will you be my friend –
someone
with whom to laugh and trust;
to bear the secrets I confide;
accept my mind, open wide?

No, you are not like me.
Such things you cannot
understand. They scare you.
I have no friends.

Yes, you are like me.
My mind scares you not –
you understand!
You feel the same!

My friend you will be…
for a short time
because your issues are
as mine – I have no friends.

Reverse Pride

it flows with blood; seeps into cells;
burns flesh; gnaws white matter
and gray matter – what is the matter?

perception is askew and anticipation,
sweet; head bows and arms rise:
“Commence destruction.”

No,
life
l i n g e r s…
unlike sanity –
agony!

white knuckles curse, spit, and scream;
folded hands bargain, cry, and plead
and knees buckle. “Ask Him why

He left you,” it taunts. “Oh, Self-
Pity, gas chamber, or lover,
my soul smothers beneath you.”

Diagnosis 1, 2, 3

Which one do you want? Not one, did you say?
Well, how ‘bout we try a whole other way –
in fact, not just one – oh, wait and you’ll see
that as life goes on – you’ll have at least three!

Uuuup – there it goes; down to – who knows;
from week to week for this bipolar geek.

Oh my, that’s not right,
all these ideas of flight;
my mind racing ‘round,
jumping beans on the ground.

Uuuup – there it goes; down to – who knows;
from day to day, the same it can’t stay.

Sleep? Who needs sleep?
I’ve not time to eat;
got too much to do
in my head that’s a brew.

Uuuup – there it goes; down to – who knows;
from hour to hour, lined borders devour.

I love you; I hate you;
you’re awful, now hold me.
I’m active; I’m lazy
but by God, I’m not crazy!

Uuuup – there it goes; down to – who knows;
from second to second, my thoughts cannot take it.

Like alphabet soup
in my head they all group;
punching and fighting
and then all uniting.

The best way I know
to let them all go
is to write and to write
my way into the light.

Uuuup – there it goes…

In the Swamp

Lying with eyes cast downward –
not completely closed;
sighing repeatedly yet,
barely audible as colors fade
to shades of grey;

Noises become irritating:
the sound of the T.V. upstairs,
the bounce of a ball against the back door,
the noise of a child playing in her back yard,
the boom through the ceiling as my daughter jumps
off of the couch upstairs – all startle me.

She sneezes loudly
and my arms jerk again –
in fright; accompanied by
rapid heartbeats and quickened respirations.

Surprised by this visceral response;
scared because I don’t understand it;
and frustrated because I cannot control it;
I closed my eyes as self-hate ensues.

Love of Self

She wants to live a long and lovely Life
but demons coyly whisper under breath.
Their lies, which seed her sanity and soul,
will start to cultivate ideas of death.

She wants to find alternative Options,
ignore those which guilt and shame create.
For making ultimate this sacrifice
will transform truth to confusion and hate.

She wants unveiled the vast and evil Void
no person, place, or thing can ever fill.
Her ego hides in fear and swells with pride
while spirit seeks serenity – God’s will.

She wants revealed diseased Exploitations,
depression – mental cancer spreading wide.
She wants to live a long and lovely life
and not become victim to suicide.

Questions? Comments? Please email all correspondence to the Editor at writeintothelight [at] live [dot] com

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