Unease by Bryan Myers

Sitting here, I am uneasy
in my own skin.
Thinking; full of doubt;
deserted and sober;
docked and anchored
in this chair.

There’s nowhere to go where
I can take a deep breath.
I can only reside
in this house
and wait
for something,
anything
at all.

It will eventually pass, this feeling;
but it is here now,
and I succumb to it.

A sip of water.
A bite of food.
A trip to the bookstore,
to sit in a different chair;
a place I was already at,
earlier this week.

My phone is downstairs,
miles away.
I can call you, can’t I?
“Sure, come on over.”
Push the feeling down the road;
push it aside and come back to it,
later.

No, I feel like remaining where I am
in this ambivalence
that constantly returns
to my body.
It even resurfaces when I am around
others: friends, family, lovers.

It causes me to want to pick up and leave,
immediately –
to sell my car, and take the money
to some far off place
I’ve never seen.
I’d go barefoot.

 

Bryan is a 25 year-old, living in New Jersey. He writes original songs, poems, short stories, and has worked in music as an audio engineer since 2008, having attended The Recording Workshop in Chillicothe, OH. Currently, he is aiding his younger brother in the start-up of a small, self-made magazine consisting of poems, essays, and other writings. Bryan blogs at http://bryanwilliammyers.wordpress.com.